Okay, I have to say we're incredibly blessed with Ella because she's a pretty good sleeper at night. Plus, she's not a screamer. She only cries when she's hungry and for a bit before bed. We're never up at 3am walking the house with her crying. But, last night I was in tears. I was so tired. I haven't been good about napping when she naps so by the end of the night, I'm done. At the end of the night, she just wants to nurse every 20 minutes until 1 am. Our of my tiredness , around 7 am, I just sat and cried when she'd only eat from one side, which meant I had to pump, which meant I was missing out on precious sleep as she slept, and worried me that she'd be hungry again in two hours since she'd only had half a feeding. Cry, cry, cry...so tired. The good news was that she still slept for four hours, I feel better and I'm going to try to get better about napping. Plus, I know, this too shall pass. Before I know it, she'll sleep through the night and the world will rejoice.
Chelsey's coming over to babysit. I think Loran and I will use our time to take a nice long walk since it's 30 degrees and sunny!
A good friend gave me this. It's so remarkably true. So true, that I wasn't at all bothered when Ella threw up all over my chest this morning. I'm sure my necklace is still covered in baby puke.
Before I was a Mom...
Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to alullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom..
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
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