Chewy. Friend, pal, comforter, confidant, stinky. Such a constant in our lives. At any point I could tell you where both Chewy’s were and what their relative level of clean was. We’ve rescued him from being left at church, the great outdoors, family member’s houses…I’ve bleached him, put him in the dryer on sanitizer mode, sewed him up, trimmed his ears. Ella has turned to Chewy in times of need like when she had her MRI, shots at the doctor, staying in unfamiliar places, every bedtime or nap and so much more. And, we’ve enjoyed Chewy’s presence in times of un-need, like just general merriment around the house.
Chewy, however, is getting to the point of being a health hazard. The bell in one of the Chewy’s heads has already been sucked out. His ears are in tatters. Oftentimes, Ella will bring me ear parts that she’d been chewing on like cud. And the stink! Oh my! Even with bleach and disinfectant modes, they still STINK! I don’t know how she keeps them next to her face. But, I think it has boosted her immune system.
Loran and I had talked a few times briefly about limiting Chewy exposure. Keeping him only in her bed, but she’s mobile and four so keeping him in her bed is about as easy as filling your bathtub with an eye dropper. Sunday morning, she joined us in bed for some cuddles, and along came Chewy. The stink, the sound of sucking, the damp spot left behind on anything he touches. Ella and I were cuddling and chatting and I suggested that maybe, just maybe it was time to put Chewy away. He was old and not very safe any more.
When Lily was born, Ella gave Lily the gift of a Pink Chewy. Lily went a different direction when picking a lovey – blanket, puppies, ducky, most stuffed animals, sometimes Pink Chewy, other blankets…
So, I suggested, perhaps Ella would enjoy cuddling with Pink Chewy. She seemed quite amicable to the idea. So we got out the Pink Chewy and Ella was delighted! I quickly tucked original Chewy away while Ella and Pink Chewy got to know one another. I found her rolling around on the couch with Pink Chewy, giggling. I figured this was going to go pretty well.
Then the withdrawal symptoms set in. On top of that, we’ll throw in the seven stages of grief. Ella was jittery, on edge, and unhappy. But, by the end of day 1, she had skipped ahead to bargaining. Ella looked up to me with the sweetest, biggest eyes she could muster and put on her sugary voice and said, “Mommy? Can I pleeeeease have stinky Chewy??” Bedtime was interesting. She wanted Chewy, she didn’t want Pink Chewy. In fact, to prove the point, she jumped out of bed, shoved Pink Chewy into the top drawer, where we keep clean loveys, and slammed it shut. She didn’t want Pink Chewy, or another blanket or stuffed animal. It was slightly heartbreaking. Then, the excitement set in. She was just goofy – for two hours. Up and down out of bed, multiple tuck-ins. At one point, Loran and I were in the basement packing for his business trip when we heard little footsteps above us. Then we heard the toilet lid go up…which was a first after bedtime. Then a flush. I had to investigate this. Ella had used the potty chair in their room and then proceeded to carry the collection basin down the stairs to dispose of the contents. This was totally out of character, and what we assumed was her motor abilities. She was pretty proud of herself and still wound up as can be. Even Lily couldn’t stay awake through the shenanigans and fell asleep. Finally, around 10:30, we convinced Ella to go to sleep.
I braced myself for day 2. However, on day 2 she only asked for Chewy once. Wasn’t too let down when I told her Chewy wasn’t available but she could have Pink Chewy. That was a no-go.
Day 3, we reached stage 6 of the grief cycle: reconstruction and working through. That morning, Ella came down the stairs with Pink Chewy, which she had retrieved from the drawer she’d ceremoniously banished it to. They cuddled, but she isn’t sucking the ears (yay!). At bedtime, I asked her if she wanted Pink Chewy and she told me, “I don’t need Pink Chewy, I only need Lola!” Awwww, so adorable! And thankfully, Lola is waiting in Ella’s bed for her every night and stays with her until morning. She did get up in the middle of the night, and at that point, gratefully accepted Pink Chewy to cuddle.
I think we’re over the hump. Stage seven is setting in: acceptance and hope. She is happy with Pink Chewy as a cuddle pal, but not completely reliant on him. She is not asking for Chewy. And, our two beloved Chewys have been bleached, put in the dryer on sanitize and tucked away in Ella’s keepsake box. I couldn’t get rid of her first love completely. I’m not completely heartless.
An Ode To Chewy
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