After waiting patiently to talk with the lactation consultant, I think I finally have some answers. It seems I don't have the symptoms of thrush, mastitis or clogged duct(s). Ella latches on well and is gaining weight and having good "output" which would rule out problems with how she's feeding. It seems most probable that I have Raynaud's Phenomenon which is similar to vassospasms which cause the blood vessels to constrict, cutting off blood flow and causing pain. It's exasterbated by cold weather. I think our drafty old house in January could contribute to that. It's also heightened because of Ella's insane sucking ability, as soon as she latches on, the blood tries to retreat to another part of my body to be spared the wrath of Ella!
The pain could be treated with a regimine of dry heat and possible drugs, I'm not sure I have it in me to do that. For now, pumping is working well, and I'll continue to do that as long as possible and I'm okay with supplementing with formula. Of course, in the world of lactation consultation, pumping and supplementing is horrible and I should just keep going with the feedings and work on applying heat afterwards. Well, I understand that's their job and all, but while I whole-heartedly agree with the benefits of breast feeding, I also don't think it's that great on the psyche of my little baby to look up at me while feeding only to see me crying and in pain. That's not quite the bonding all of the book boast about. In fact, when I bottle feed Ella, she stares right at me and I think we bond even more than when she just fell asleep like a drunken sailor on the breast. Also plus - anyone can feed her, so I can go on dates with my husband ! ! !
Time to change and bathe the El so we can go to Target! We love Target! :) I can't believe she's three weeks old!
2 comments:
Definitely don't feel bad about pumping and bottle feeding - you do your best and what works for you both and that is the best. Hey at least you took if far enough to talk to a lactation cons. and research it. It's not worth tears and dreading a feeding.
Be thankful you got your milk started and can pump. When Libi was 8 weeks old I was purmping 6 times a day for half an hour each pump and I would get maybe 2oz of milk (from both sides)- and she was eating 3-4 oz every 2 hours at that age. Also, I think they don't eat well when you're in pain- it's not like she can't feel your body reacting- I would notice my knees bouncing and I'd be holding my breath and sucking in my stomach to try to deal with the pain and she would hit me with her hand trying to get me to stop so she could concentrate on eating. I also do love being able to look her in the eyes when she eats....and I love letting other people feed her! Someone at services last week tried to convice me to attempt nursing again at age 5 months!
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