McDouble Check the Map

Lily likes to keep busy in the car. She loves her Brain Quest cards. Currently, she’s on a fall colors kick and demands I drive under “my orange trees”. Doesn’t matter that they aren’t technically ours. She’s staked a claim to all orange trees. The girls have started playing “I spy” and we’re typically serenaded by whatever song pops into Lily’s head. Most often, it’s a mash-up of several songs, Glee style.

The funniest thing she has taken a liking to, is a set of coupons. Every month, a new set of McDonald’s coupons comes in the newspaper. Since we get two papers, Loran tucks a set in each car. Every once in awhile, we are in need of a McD’s deal. However, Lily is now obsessed with reading her “Cheeseburger Map” – seriously, that is what she calls it. Completely made it up herself. I nearly had tears the first time she said it. It was so darn funny and at the same time so cute I wanted to squeeze her.

Lately, I have to practically wrestle her into her car seat. Using my elbows to pin her down while I fumble with the straps. These seats may be “safer” but they’re just a pain in the rear. So many latches at harnesses. It was way easier when you just had to pull down that shabbily padded bar and click that into place, sort of like a rollercoaster that doesn’t go upside-down and you only get that lap bar that instills no sense of safety. Those car seats were a lot easier to contend with when  your child decides to play ‘stiff as a board’. Insert: Cheeseburger Map. I can get her into her seat if I just dangle the Cheeseburger Map carrot in front of her. She can’t wait to get her little hands on it and pour over the images of coffee, ice cream cones (Cup and Cones to Lily), burgers and fries.

Hang a left at the Egg McMuffn. If you hit McNuggets, you’ve gone too far.

Twoberty has hit our house hard. Lily is not the easiest child to deal with lately. Her emotions are all over the board. However, more often than not, she’s simultaneously angry at me and wants me to cuddle her. And, she’s at that “fun” age where they collapse into tears and temper tantrums over the most random things. Last week, she just broke down crying. When I pressed her to find out what was wrong, she tells me, “I check boff legs and I don’t have any owies…whaaaaahhh!!!” Yes, she was crying because SHE WASN’T HURT. Everything I do is wrong, and elicits tears. I pour her milk wrong. I carry her wrong. I zip her jacket wrong. Today she cried because I got out of my the car through the door – THROUGH THE DOOR. Apparently, upon further questioning, she thought I should go through the window. Because that’s something we do. She cried when I turned the car off while her favorite song was playing by Imagine Dragons. Oh Lord, grant me some serious patience with her because lately I spend the majority of the day listening to melt-downs. It’s just a phase, it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase…

Last Monday in a fit of rage, she actually passed out on the floor. It was joyous. She’s never just fallen asleep before. Ella and I both breathed a sigh of relief…until we had to wake the bear for dinner. I’m partial to the tutu.