A Three Year Old’s Ability to Keep a Secret

Giving Loran a gift is a feat in itself. He keeps a detailed wish list on Amazon, but some of those things seem rather boring (like the toenail clipper), or ridiculous (like The Penguin Classics Library Complete Collection, because I have $15,400 to spend that would go unnoticed hidden between my Target and HEB runs and have space for more than 1,000 paperback books that are drop shipped, arriving on pallets – and they aren’t even Prime eligible!) And while nothing says, “Happy Father’s Day” like a Survival Seed Vault, sometimes I like to go off the grid for gift giving.

Since I have to try to hide my purchases, if I’m going off the grid and not to Amazon or Target, I use a little strategy as to when I buy so it will go unnoticed. But, I couldn’t purchase the gift the day before Father’s Day because we’d be in San Antonio at SeaWorld.

I bought Loran a pillow. While about as exciting as the toenail clipper, he’d always steal my pillow when given the chance and brainwashed Ella into stealing my pillow whenever possible. I was excited that we’d have matching pillows size-wise so our bed would look symmetrical when made, because that’s what matters in life…

The pillow was obtained and wrapped and we also started working on a more personalized gift from the girls. I figured they would be distracted from the gift they were working on that they would forget the pillow. But just in case, I reminded Ella and Lily that the pillow was a surprise and we couldn’t tell Daddy until he opened it. Both girls vigorously shook their heads in agreement. Nobody would tell Daddy what his gift was.

Approximately five hours later, Loran arrives home from work. Ella and Lily just happen to be playing right in front of the door to the garage, so he encounters them immediately. Loran hadn’t even stepped over the threshold when Lily took a huge breath and said, “Daddy-we-got-your-Father’s-Day-gift-and-it’s-a-pillow-but-it’s-a-secret-and-we-can’t-tell-you-we-got-a-pillow-because-it’s-a-surprise-because-it’s-a-pillow-like-Mommy’s!-pillow-pillow-pillow.” [extra emphasis on pillow at the end may have been added for effect] I stood at the stove stirring dinner, shaking my head and laughing.

Father’s Day morning, the girls were able to give him the gift they’d created. A card/questionnaire that we’d filled out together. Turns out we didn’t have large construction paper, so I improvised with a manila file folder.

So after all of that drama and months of seemingly coveting my pillow, turns out Loran actually likes his original pillow, and pillows are not-returnable; which I suppose makes me feel good as someone who uses a pillow, but not as a pillow buyer who tried to gift give based on subtle and not so subtle hints.

So we’ve learned a few important lessons this Father’s Day: Lily cannot keep a secret. The Amazon wish list is still the gold standard for gift giving. Pillows are not returnable. It’s hard to put a price on an amazing father and husband.

Loran will probably be getting Survival Seeds and a toenail clipper for our Anniversary in July. And now we know where Lily’s inability to keep a secret comes from. Shhhh….