Remember the Teacher

It’s no secret, I have a soft spot for teachers, and really every staff person who works with children. Yes, it helps that I was a teacher in my Before Child (BC) life. When I look back, I feel like I would have been a much better teacher if I’d had a school-age child. To be on this side of the classroom door is such a different experience. Having been in the classroom also provides me with a lot of comfort. I know there will be problems, but I also know those problems aren’t intentional. The people in charge of my daughters from the moment they step on that bus stair, or at the slam of my car door until they are back in my arms again are in it for the right reasons. We hear horror stories that are not the norm, yet in our heads, we make them the norm. Rather than look for what’s going wrong in my child’s day, I’m going to focus on what’s going right.

I didn’t have a lot of confidence that Ella was going to be able to get off the bus in the morning and make it to her classroom without getting lost or turned around. But I cast my fear aside and said a little prayer and put my confidence in the school. Sure enough, Ella was escorted to her classroom by an older student on day 2. I do not know who that student was, if she’s one of our neighbors or just a friendly face, but it all worked out. And she made it to her classroom on day 3, and day 4. I have to believe my child is capable, and she has to know that I think she’s capable, even when I don’t always believe it deep down. Guess what? They girls always rise to the occasion and settle my fears. My worry is uncalled for the majority of the time. I often remind myself that only a couple of generations ago small children were taking care of even smaller siblings, or were helping their parents do manual labor – not just taking care of baby dolls and scrolling through an iPad. Even in my generation, we walked a few blocks to school on our own (my mom may have trailed behind by a block when I was in Kindergarten, but I never knew that at the time). We have to give our children the chance to grow, to surprise us, to meet and exceed our expectations – and those expectations need to be higher than our comfort level. A great quote I heard, that I hold on to, even with small children: “We’re launching arrows, not boomerangs.” They’re going to need some confidence that’s built by trial and error, success and failure. I can’t pad the world, I can only provide guidance. So really, what’s the big deal if Ella wanders the hall for a few minutes getting her bearings? When she finds her classroom or asks for help, she’ll have a boost of confidence. She’ll learn some valuable skills that one day may help her when she pops up to street level out of a subway, is venturing out on campus for her first college classes, or on a business trip in a foreign country. I have to let them take the chances now, when the stakes aren’t high, so when they are, the girls are prepared.

Back to those teachers. We love to shower them with gifts at the end of the year. Hooray, you survived our children! You didn’t make the year miserable for me or my child, let me reward you for that! However, by the time your child steps foot into their classroom on that first day, they’ve already put it a lot of hours, some of them backbreaking. They’ve prepared classrooms and moved furniture. Put a lot of thought, energy and love into the flow of their schedule, the first week and the first day. They’ve put in the extra touches that make our children feel special on that first day. A name plate in a locker, on a desk or folder. Seeing your name printed out is one of the most important things to a person. It makes you feel like you belong somewhere, that you are known and noticed. Think about seeing your nameplate outside your cubical for the first time. How about the relief in seeing your name on a desk in a big classroom. Your spot, a place where you belong. There are so many touches that go into starting the year that parents will never see or experience.

Just like parents and children, teachers are scared that night before school. Will they like me? Will they be nice or mean? Can I do this? A new class and batch of parents is a frightening thing! But instead of crying or hiding under the desk, like they may feel, the teacher steps up and loves on those who are crying and hiding under the desk. They get called mom or dad on accident. They rub backs, wipe tears and noses, apply bandages, and give a smile when it’s needed the most.

Is your child tired the first week? Mine has been falling asleep on the bus. There are plenty of teachers with heavy eyes on the drive home. They’re up early pounding the coffee and also sleepy that first week.

This year, after reading the idea from a magazine, I’m sending the girls’ teachers a little care box. I took some of the suggestions from the article, but added some of my own favorites from teaching and also used the teacher’s wish list to pad the box. I want to say thank you early on and let them know that I appreciate the hard work they’ve already done. They don’t need to prove it to me for 167 days. I care about them, just like they have already cared for my girls.

In the box:

- lots of 3M products (it pays to have a connection) – stickers – Tide stick (I once Tide-sticked an entire cup of coffee off my blouse before the school day started) – nail files – snacks – tissues – toothbrush/toothpaste – mouth wash – mints – sewing kit – lotion – static spray – bandages – hand sanitizer – ibuprofen – lint brush – glue sticks (wish list) – overhead markers (wish list) – a note of thanks.

I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t cheap. However, I’m entrusting these teachers with my precious children. You know what else isn’t cheap? The money I have to spend on entertaining my children enough that they pass out at the end of the night without trouble. ie: zoo, children’s museum, parks in the sweltering sun.

And really, isn’t someone who entertains and challenges your child to the point of exhaustion (in a good way) worth it? You didn’t even have to sit on a sticky bench in the hot sun while smelling elephant droppings, and your children are still tired and hopefully smarter at the end of the day! Score!